Babylon Bee: Carol Changes Cause Riots

Congregation Erupts Into Violent Protests As Worship Band Shamelessly Tampers With Yet Another Timeless Christmas Carol

PERRY, MA—Violence broke out at Everlasting Savior Community Church in Perry last Sunday after, in an audacious show of nerve, the worship band messed with another classic Christmas song. Congregants were whipped into a frenzy during “O Come, O Come Emmanuel” when a new bridge was added to the already satisfactory song. 

“Rejoice with tidal waves of grace, oh Savior of the broken, pouring over me everlasting in a rushing mighty wave of love…” the new lyrics began. It was at that point that a hymnal was lobbed into one of the speakers causing an explosion of sparks. The congregation rushed the stage and attacked the worship band, knocking over microphone stands, throwing drums, and lighting amplifiers on fire.

With the church ablaze, the angry mob took to the streets overturning cars and breaking windows. Local police arrived on the scene and were forced to use tear gas and pepper spray to control the protestors.

Earlier in the service, songs such as “O Come All Ye Faithful” and “Hark the Herald Angels Sing” had also been tampered with, creating a palpable frustration among the elder members of the church. By the third song, they had had enough.

A number of church members had locked themselves inside of the building and were holding hostage worship leader, 19-year-old Gavin Blaine, demanding that all Christmas songs from this point forward be played the normal way they have always been played. Officers at the scene held the worship band at gunpoint and instructed the musicians to comply with the sensible demands. “There’s no reason for this kind of brazen disregard for these beloved songs,” shouted the police chief at the worship leader. “Change the songs back or lethal force may be used.”

At press time, Blaine had refused to comply with the orders and was placed in police custody.

From The Babylon Bee

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