Rude Mother Fails To Put Baby On Silent Mode Before Church Service

From “Babylon Bee”

Rude Mother Fails To Put Baby On Silent Mode Before Church Service

 

WILMAR, MN—New mother Tatiana Olson is being called rude and obnoxious for failing to put her baby on silent mode before entering the church service at Generations Church during Sunday’s service.

The woman’s infant cried several times during the service, interrupting the proceedings and demonstrating the reason for the church’s strict rules on using a newborn’s silent mode before coming into the church.

“It’s just inconsiderate. We even post notices in the foyer asking mothers to be sure to put their babies on silent mode before being seated,” head deacon Lucas Carlisle said Wednesday. “We’re here to be the body of Christ to one another, and we can’t do that when your baby interrupts our carefully crafted show.”

The mother was finally asked to leave and find “one of those weird churches that welcomes children,” according to sources.

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Faith In The Midst of Opposition

From Open Doors comes this powerful story of one mans’s faith and the impact his witness had on the men who had come to kill him

Samson, Central Asia

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Image: 
Samson holding a Bible. 

We had arrived at another registered, but very much under the radar, church in Central Asia. We met Samson, he looked like a wrestler – in his early 50’s but lean and strong. As we sat on the floor broke bread and sipped tea, Samson began to share his testimony.

This is – without a doubt – one of the craziest stories I’ve heard from my time at Open Doors.

One Sunday night they came at 2am to kill him.

Eight people with machine guns and knives. They said, “Come with us.” Samson could not see their faces as they were wearing black head coverings that only left their eyes visible.

Samson told his wife, “My friends have come and I’ll be back in the morning. When you hear my voice then open the door.”

Samson’s wife locked the door and Samson went with them. They took him to a garbage tip.

They said, “Today is the last day for you. Jesus is not a God he will not save you.”

The Mujahedeen came and grabbed his hair and pulled his head back placing a knife on his throat. They asked Samson, “What do you want to say?”

Samson replied, “Jesus loves you and I forgive you.”

They asked him, “Do you accept Islam?”

And he said, “No I’ve found the truth, the creator of earth, heaven and all mankind. People created religion. You [God] created holy work. Please reveal Your work to my brothers here, salvation, protection for their children, and let them know that my blood is not on their hands. Please bless their families and I forgive them. Amen.”

The Mujahideen (Islamic extremists) screamed at him, “Are you a fool? We want to kill you. And you are blessing our families! Go home, we will come again and take you.”

Two weeks later thirty people and two Mujahideen’s came back.

They said, “We want to talk! We are those that wanted to kill you.”

And Samson replied, “If you want to kill me now please give me five minutes. I have been working so much I didn’t get time to hug my children. I will not tell them you are going to kill me. I will come back.”

They said, “We are not going to kill you.”

The two Mujahideen standing at the front said the 30 men behind them were their army, “As the leaders we are the ones who kill our victims.”

They proceeded to tell Samson how 24 heads of the army would retreat to the hills during the day and come down at night into the town.

Recently 24 leaders came down from the mountains at night and walked into an ambush set up by the government.

The two leaders at the front of the group told how they laid on the ground with bullets flying over from all four sides. They couldn’t raise their heads or they would get shot.

One of the leaders said, “While we were lying there we saw you and you came to us and said, ‘Throw yourself into the water and you will survive,’ and the two of us jumped into the water and we survived. The 22 other leaders were killed.”

They asked Samson, “How did you manage to come to us? And why weren’t you shot?”

Samson replied, “I was not there but my God sent an angel who looked like me because I am his servant. He did it for you to come to me to tell you Jesus loves you, died for you and can give you salvation.”

The man said to Samson, “I will never fight again.” They threw open their arms and said to the soldiers, “This Christian speaks truth. I will accept Jesus.”

Reflection on Isaiah 61:10-62:3

 

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Passage: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=isaiah+61.10-62.3

Scripture

I am overwhelmed with joy in the Lord my God

For he has dressed me in the garments of salvation

and draped me in a robe of righteousness.

Observation

Isaiah is overwhelmed with joy because he is dressed in salvation and righteousness, like a groom or a bride in wedding clothes.

The Lord will show justice to the nations and everyone will praise Him. The nations will see God’s righteousness and glory.

Application

When we see God’s glory we should be overwhelmed with joy. When we think of our relationship with God, joy should fill our soul.

When prayer or Bible study or worship become a chore, a ritual to be endured, then we have lost the plot. Joy is meant to be a centre piece in the christian life.

God has dressed me in the garment of salvation. I once was lost and dead in my sin. Then, miracle of miracles, Jesus reached down to me from the cross and brought cleansing and forgiveness. He walked out of the tomb and brought me resurrection life.

My life has meaning because I am in Christ. I am overwhelmed with joy at what God has done in me.

Joy is different to happiness. Happiness is fleeting- it literally depends on what is happening. Joy is eternal because it is a gift from God. Even in the greatest trial or the saddest moment, joy will be there waiting to bubble up to the surface like a spring of water.

I am saved in Christ, so I will rejoice.

Prayer

Lord Jesus, thank you for the gift of salvation. All my sins are gone, cleansed by your blood. Help me to remember this when the world overwhelms me. Amen.

Reflection on Luke 2:21-40

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Passage: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+2.21-40

Scripture

I have seen your salvation you have prepared for you all people.”

Observation

Eight days after Jesus’ birth, Joseph and Mary take Jesus to the Temple to be circumcised and the necessary offerings to be made.

A godly man named Simeon had been told by the Holy Spirit that he would not die until he saw the Lord’s Messiah. The Holy Spirit leads him to the Temple where he encounters Mary and Joseph. He takes the baby in his arms and prophesies over Him. “This baby will cause many in Israel to fall but He will be a joy to many.”

Then Anna, an elderly widowed prophet, comes along while Simeon is speaking and she praises God.

The family returns to Nazareth where Jesus grows up healthy and strong.

Application

What a wonderful message is in the Christmas story. God has prepared salvation for all people.

Everyone may be saved through faith in Jesus Christ. You don’t have to be Jewish or born to a certain class of people. You don’t have to follow difficult rules and procedures. No sacrifice is needed because God has already provided the sacrifice.

This salvation is for all people.

This salvation is God’s gift for us- that is why we exchange gifts at Christmas. Jesus and His forgiveness come with no payment required, no hidden fees or penalties. It is God’s gift- simple and free.

If you know Jesus already, rejoice in His great gift.

If you don’t know Jesus then today is the day. Ask Him to forgive your sins and to come into your life. Decide in your heart to follow Jesus and to live the life He created for you to live.

Prayer

Lord Jesus, your salvation brings so much joy to my heart. Thank you for coming into the world. Amen.

Christmas Sermons

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Today, Christmas Eve, we had two services including our official Christmas Service.

At the morning service I preached on “No Impossible Thing” which is based on Luke 1:26-38. Click here to listen in your browser or here to download the mp3

At the 5 pm service I preached about “The Light and The Word”, which is based on John 1:1-18. Click here to listen in your browser or here to download the mp3

 

Messy Christmas

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Last Sunday we had our “Messy Christmas” celebration, the latest edition of our Messy Church services.

Messy Church started in England as a way to bridge the gap between ageing congregations and the families in their  neighbourhood. We’ve tweaked the concept a little, and it is just a brilliant  way to make special worship events for the whole family. We are planning to take the Messy Church format to various places around town as an evangelism project.

The theme was “Jesus Is My Superhero” which featured a play in which Batman, Superman and Wonderwoman hear rumours of a new superhero in town who threatend to take away their jobs.  The play was inspired by this meme:

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We included craft activities, Christmas Tree decoration and even science experiments relating to sound, because of the ways God spoke to people in the Christmas story.

We finished with lunch together, because a shared meal is central to the Messy Church experience.

It might be a month or two before we revisit Messy Church. We have school holidays next month and Family Camp in February. But we will be doing it before Easter!

“Trickle Down Economics” Actually Works

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People on the left, especially those aspiring to be Federal Treasurer, have no idea about economics. The other day I heard the Opposition Finance spokesman (I can’t remember his name, but he’s a typical Labor hack who just memorises the day’s talking points) trotted out the standard line about the Government’s proposed company tax cuts: “They are just for Malcolm Turnbull’s rich mates. It’s trickle down economics and it hasn’t worked anywhere in the world.” (Read that aloud in your best whiny voice for the full Bill Shorten experience.)

In Trump’s America the company tax cur is working before it actually comes into effect. Some big companies are giving their employees a Christmas bonus and others are voluntarily boosting their minimum wage to $15 per hour (a rate which leftists have been demanding the Governments- state and federal- mandate whether companies can afford it or not.) Better still many other companies are now saying they will actually invest more.

Really? Tax cuts to big companies helps workers? How does that work?

From “Louder With Crowder” (just to trigger people)

In Response to Tax Reform, Three Grateful Major Companies Help Employees…

Companies Raise Salaries After Tax Bill

“Something, something, ___ won’t help the middle class” — thus are the screeching squalls of the left as their snowflake frames melt under successful tax reform. Let’s mop up their puddles as we immediately show how tax reform is helping the middle class. Let’s begin with massive salary hikes, shall we?

Three major corporations are increasing employee salaries just after tax reform is passed and just in time for Christmas. Fa-la-la-fabulous wages. But it gets even better!

Fifth Third Bancorp will pay more than 13,500 employees a bonus and raise the minimum wage of its workforce to $15 an hour after the passage of the Republican tax plan that will cut the bank’s corporate tax rate.

AT&Tsaid earlier Wednesday that it would pay more than 200,000 U.S. employees $1,000 each and increase its capital spending budget by $1 billion.

Wells Fargo, meanwhile, also said it would be boosting its minimum wage for employees to $15 an hour, which was prompted by the tax plan. The San Francisco-based bank also said it would target $400 million in donations to community and nonprofit organizations next year.

Cincinnati-based Fifth Third, the fifteenth largest U.S. bank by asset size, said the tax cut allowed it to re-evaluate its employee pay and pass along some of the windfall.

That’s right, boys and girls. The $15 wages are finally happening, rejoice! When we give our homeland companies a take-five from the heavy load of taxes, they pass down the monies. Who would’ve thunk?

Read the full story here