From “The Babylon Bee

Skeleton Of Preacher Still Waiting For One More Person To Come Forward Discovered

WOODLANDS VALLEY, TX—The perfectly preserved skeleton of a pastor still waiting for one more person to come forward was discovered at an abandoned church building once belonging to First Baptist Church, sources confirmed Tuesday.

Dated to around 1996, the skeleton was reportedly discovered by a group of youths exploring the church’s abandoned sanctuary on Main Street. The pristine skeletal remains were still standing next to the church’s pulpit, hands outstretched as if waiting for just one more person to come forward.

According to church historians, the skeleton belonged to Pastor Mark, who gave an extended altar call at the end of the church’s final service at the old building in the autumn of 1996, and was never heard from again.

“We always thought he had simply moved on to another church after he didn’t get that one more person to come forward,” deacon Jon Wilder told reporters. “We had no idea he stood there for days or even weeks before he finally passed away, frozen to the spot.”

“If I had only known he was so determined to get that last person to make a decision for Christ, by golly, I’da gone up myself,” Wilder added.

Sources also confirmed that a cassette tape playing “Just As I Am” was still looping indefinitely when the skeleton was discovered.

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